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... three places instead of the usual five. I even woke up not screaming, which was a first.

"Today," I said to myself, adjusting my tattered robe, "is going to be a good day."

Spoiler: It was not.

The Royal Inspection was a huge deal. Every survivor of the dungeon—meaning us idiots—was required to line up like well-behaved soldiers for review by King Wallrick’s top officials. The Empire needed to make sure we weren’t "feral ...

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