I Am A Matchmaker on Taobao - Chapter 50:

A hundred centuries ago, Daoist Jing Yuan died from lightning. A hundred centuries later, he comes back to life, but discovers that the stars have shifted and the world has transformed by leaps and bounds.

Marketplace: Selling herbs for 10 coppers each, alleviates fevers and detoxifies, reduces swelling and relieves pain.

Jing Yuan: Isn’t this the main precious herb used for Foundation Establishment Pills?

Auction house: Advanced level cultivation method starting at 30,000 spirit-stones!

Jing Yuan: Isn’t this the trashiest cultivation method you could find anywhere on the streets?

Art gallery: “The 100 Influential Figures of the Cultivation World”

Jing Yuan: Aren’t these my good friends A, B, C, D and old enemies 1, 2, 3, 4?

Bookstore: “Jing Yuan: A Biography“, “Memoirs of Jing Yuan“, “An Intro to Daoist-Master Jing Yuan’s Legendary Life“, “Honored Master Jing Yuan Teaches You How to Guide Qi into the Body“, “The Seven Habits of Founder Jing Yuan”

Jing Yuan: ?? Isn’t this me? Wait, when did I gain seven habits?

The companions he once journeyed with have long passed away, and not even 1/10 of the formerly glorious cultivation legacies remain. Yet, in this world without him, his legend still exists. This kind of feeling, is a bit embarrassing…

- Description from Novelupdates

[Longevity + Discipleship + No Female Lead + Lighthearted Humor with No Tragic Moments]When his master picks food, he spins the table there;When his master chants spells, he chats without a care;When his master takes rest, he sings a lively song;When his master lies late, he bangs the pot along;His master lives on long, but his life is rather short;His master lays him down on the hillside, as a sort;His master lifts a cup, but he won’t take a drink;His master shares a tale, but he won’t stop to think;His master holds a feast, but he leaves the table wide;His master calls his soul, but he’s nowhere to abide.Spring returns to the hills, with blooms so bright and fair,Yet master and disciple are parted, one in heaven, one elsewhere.

As a senior Green Tea, Bi Ming recently became addicted to watching love variety shows and she found a very interesting phenomenon:

As long as the girls are more popular and people can’t find any real black spots, they like to call them “Green Tea”.

As long as you don’t like a girl, using “Tea” to describe the other party seems to be able to win back a city and humiliate her maliciously.

No matter what the character of the girl is; innocent, lively, gentle, kind, or bright and generous, as long as they use the word “Tea” to label the other party, they can scold her to their heart’s content.

“She is also green tea?” Bi Ming watched the sour netizens in the comment area jumping up and down to scold the most beautiful and well behaved girl in the show as ‘Green tea girl,’ and she couldn’t help sneering, “I still have too little knowledge.”

Real green tea can make you cry without crying. As a green tea herself, Bi Ming was well versed in the ‘tea art’. Even if she changed men like she changes clothes, whenever she hooked her finger, someone will lick it. Moreover, she could also render the lemon essences who were jealous of her speechless.

Just when she sighed, a light sphere calling itself the “Green tea system” appeared.

“Congratulations on seeing through the essence and summoning this system.”

“As we all know, ‘green tea’ has become the best way to stigmatize attractive girls in today’s society. ”

“Some girls, who do not meet the standard of green tea at all, are framed as green tea and have no power to fight back, which greatly reduces the reputation of green tea.”

“Ms. Bi Ming, as a senior green tea in this world, would you like to go to other worlds and let some ignorant frogs at the bottom of the well, who have wronged good people, experience the real tea art?”

Bi Ming smiled lightly: “It sounds very interesting.”

- Description from Novelupdates

After transcending to a new world, Ye Xuan miraculously obtained the Swallowing System.

Not only could it swallow everything (wink wink nudge nudge), it could also extract bloodlines, martial arts, godly weapons, medicinal pills, treasures…

“This (beer) is way too strong! Don’t challenge me! Do you believe that I can’t swallow your divine swords?”

- Description from Novelupdates