Epic of Caterpillar - Chapter 11: The Dark Nation

I am Racist.…I mean, my name is Racis T.I was a stand-up comedian. The flop kind. The type who only got laughs when someone else was roasting him.One night, I was doing a gig at a shady, run-down bar—the kind where tattooed bikers drink motor oil for breakfast. I went in with my usual dark humor, but my jokes were getting the same reaction as my dating profile: complete silence.That didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was already starving to death. So I did what any committed comedian would—I went darker.Turns out, one of my jokes (or all of them?) triggered a guy so hard that he pulled a trigger. Headshot. Instant death.But hey, look at this: A guy got triggered, so he pulled the trigger. That’s wordplay. But who cares? I’m dead anyway.All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing, and maybe a few girls swooning over my wit. I never cared about money. The millions I’d have made would have gone to charity—specifically, 0.001% of it. See? I’m generous like that.Anyway, death is death. My story should’ve ended there.But… if there is an afterlife, I had a simple wish: become a successful comedian, find a loving wife, and have just enough money to afford three meals a day… and maybe a humble little private yacht. Or a jet. But that’s it. Because, like I said, I don’t care about money.Unfortunately, wishes don’t work that way.Because, well—there was an afterlife.And it was absolutely not what I wished for.

The journey of a generation’s male empress started because of four words.

“Send a dowry escort.”

During the 19th year of Yuanqing, Qi Yunruo boarded a carriage and entered through a corner door of the second prince’s estate. Then, across the watery corridor, he gazed at the prince from afar.

Notes:

For aristocratic women in imperial China to marry into a family part of the upper nobility, they must be of the legitimate line and must also have an escort/dowry maid that married into that family. That escort would be a “ying” (媵) and could be considered a concubine.

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Xie Ming’s world turned upside down when her sister and fiancé betrayed her. Thinking there was nothing left in her life, Xie Ming decided to put an end to it but little did she know that God had better plans for her.

****

Standing in front of the cliff, Xie Ming was ready to end her life when a pair of warm and strong hands grabbed her waist.

“Do you really think ending your life is going to help?” The man asked.

Xie Ming who was still in a daze, frowned when she heard an unfamiliar voice.

“Instead of just ending your life like this why don’t you do something productive with it”
Xie Ming frowned deeper and asked, “What do you mean?”

Pulling her closer, he murmured, “Marry me.”

…...

This book is under editing and I just started editing the initial chapters. I was a noob when I started writing but as you read further, the grammar as well as the other things keep improving :) Happy reading ^_^

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The main protagonist Chen He often meets crazy people in his life, and all these people have very deep prejudices against him. They often do weird things.

(1)

Once, Chen He polished off a bunch of hired killers (who seemed to be after him?), and eventually found the mastermind.

Chen He: You and I are complete strangers, so why are you doing this to me?

Mastermind: You’re gonna kill me after ten years! Of course I’ve got to make a preemptive strike.

Chen He: …

(2)

Chen He: Sir, we have had no bad blood between us, and I have not done anything to offend you. Why are you being so threatening?

Taoist priest: Hmph! In the future, you’ll be offending me to no end. Haven’t you been looking down on me all your life?

Chen He: …but I still have my entire life ahead of me!

(3)

Antagonist A: Chen He! Because of your master, I was rejected by XX Sect, and so I was forced to become a demonic cultivator!

Chen He: Who…who are you?

Antagonist B: My future lover’s meridians and good looks were ruined by you, and I’m definitely not gonna let you do it this time!

Chen He could not help but think: There is definitely something wrong with my life!

- Description from Novelupdates