Dice In The Darkness: Cthulhu Calls - Chapter 495: Game Invades Reality

I am Racist.…I mean, my name is Racis T.I was a stand-up comedian. The flop kind. The type who only got laughs when someone else was roasting him.One night, I was doing a gig at a shady, run-down bar—the kind where tattooed bikers drink motor oil for breakfast. I went in with my usual dark humor, but my jokes were getting the same reaction as my dating profile: complete silence.That didn’t sit right with my inner artist, who was already starving to death. So I did what any committed comedian would—I went darker.Turns out, one of my jokes (or all of them?) triggered a guy so hard that he pulled a trigger. Headshot. Instant death.But hey, look at this: A guy got triggered, so he pulled the trigger. That’s wordplay. But who cares? I’m dead anyway.All I wanted was a successful show, people laughing, and maybe a few girls swooning over my wit. I never cared about money. The millions I’d have made would have gone to charity—specifically, 0.001% of it. See? I’m generous like that.Anyway, death is death. My story should’ve ended there.But… if there is an afterlife, I had a simple wish: become a successful comedian, find a loving wife, and have just enough money to afford three meals a day… and maybe a humble little private yacht. Or a jet. But that’s it. Because, like I said, I don’t care about money.Unfortunately, wishes don’t work that way.Because, well—there was an afterlife.And it was absolutely not what I wished for.

Somebody once told a joke.A man ran in place all his life. He worked a job he didn't love for people he couldn't stand. But at the end of the day, the number in his bank account went up.That man got a second chance at life. He woke up in another world, full of adventures and romances and monsters and gods. And floating above his head he saw the number “1”. So what did he say?“Gosh I better make the number go up.”Not today. Not for this old soul. Reborn as a beast of battle meant to live a short life and die screaming, Garek refuses. He puts the madness of skills and levels behind him and sets out to found a little farmstead. He grows crops. Maybe someday he'll get a pig, and have bacon.It's a shame the world won't let him be. It's a shame that the warmongers and level-grinders hate nothing more than a soul at peace.He put down his sword for a plowshare, but when trouble comes calling, he'll pick it up again.

Spend life energy to infuse martial arts, and you can perform unlimited deductions.

Shen Yi’s mortal body only has a lifespan of less than a hundred years. Fortunately, he can gain his remaining lifespan by killing demons.

In the troubled times where evil spirits are everywhere, the long sword is revealed, causing the liver and gallbladder of these creatures who have lived for thousands of years to burst!

From [Eagle Claw Technique] to [Eight Desolations Splitting Heavenly Hands], from [Demon Subduing Fist] to [Golden Body Prison Suppressing Dharma Appearance]!

Shen Yi occasionally ponders, how come this lifespan is getting longer with more use?

He put the sword into its sheath, raised his eyes to the sky, and heard that there was a Jade Palace above the clouds. It was filled with thousands of saints, each of whom had experienced endless years.

This time I came to heaven just to borrow a million years from the immortals to prove my path to immortality.

- Description from novelbuddy

I am a vampire, possessing the body of the villainess in the novel.

I want to live quietly so I can live peacefully.

When I saw the Duke of Esteban, I lost all my reason and bit his neck.

Duke of Esteban just so happens to be the greatest figure in the empire.

I didn’t have enough strength to fight the desire, so I slept with him…

I’m in trouble. Let’s erase his memory and run.

“Your Excellency asked me to convey a message ‘I let you have my neck and body, but you threw it all away and ran.’”

What are you saying?

Does he remember?

Later, there was a strange declaration of war after we met.

“Don’t avoid me and let’s continue to meet. Also, when you need blood, come find me.”

Duke, would you please stay away from me?

It’s hard to breathe because of your taste.