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... the one. The lanky dude with decent bone structure who somehow still manages to look like he was assembled by someone who only half-read the instruction manual. Yeah, I’m tall, but that just means there’s more of me to be disappointing.

My body’s got all the muscle definition of uncooked spaghetti, and my posture screams "I live in my gaming chair."

Even Tommy Chen from my neighborhood—this absolute unit of a kid who looks like he bench-presses Twinkies—could probably pull more g ...

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