Bro, I'm not an Undead! - Chapter 1182: First Offensive

T/N: In Chinese, the 穿 in time travel is the same character as the 穿 in wear clothes.

“Why must I travel back in time (穿越 chuan yue)?” – Qing Qiao

“Because… If you don’t wear clothes (穿 chuan)… You’ll catch a cold…” – Qing Qiao’s servant girl, Dong Xi.

If you once thought this was a time traveling novel…

What is a Benz? Beautiful men step aside. As a knowledgable woman who has gone through higher education, how can I tolerate a backward life without a computer, without chocolate, without a flushing toilet bowl? No matter what I must return back to the future! Thus started, Gu Qing Qiao’s silly ridiculous legend, a side-splittingly funny case that started with one bowl of roast pork rice.

But sadly, we may have guessed the start, but we weren’t able to guess the end…

- Description from Novelupdates

Ten years ago, John and his parents were transported into a game world.This young man, full of ambition to conquer the world, unfortunately awakened the weakest class—Furniture Maker.But what troubled John most wasn’t his class.Like most transmigrators, he had a system.The only problem was—This system kept granting him strange and absurd skills.[Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a concept-level skill: Absolute Diarrhea Technique. Your basic attacks will cause opponents to suffer explosive diarrhea until complete exhaustion. Any creature without an anus is unworthy of being your enemy!][Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a concept-level skill: Mummification Wrapping Technique. Bandages crafted by you can heal all things!][Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a concept-level skill: You may steal and copy the abilities of anyone named John!][Ding! Congratulations, Host! You’ve acquired a bonus concept-level skill: You may forcibly rename anyone to John!]…Years later, in the Divine Realm, a lone figure stood tall above the heavens.As the sacred hymns echoed, he raised a finger—And all the gods clenched their anuses in fear.

After dying unexpectedly, she was reborn as a ten-year-old little girl in an ancient farming family, with barely a few rooms in her house and even fewer acres of land, not to mention a household of the old, weak, sick, and disabled.Fortunately, the elders in the family were kind and honest, her brothers loving and good-natured, and the neighbors harmonious and friendly. For Yang Mengchen, who had suffered from her relatives' torment and endured all sorts of mockery and scolding since she was young, this was truly a blessing from heaven.To support the family she loved, she resolutely took on the heavy responsibility of providing for them. If she, a modern corporate CEO who had once dominated the business world, couldn't feed a family, then who could?Pharmaceutical recipes, building greenhouses, opening storefronts... Not only did her family start living a comfortable and prosperous life, but she also led the surrounding villages in creating a magnificent pastoral scene!With money and fame, as she grew up, Yang Mengchen decided it was time to choose a husband, and thus, young talents from around the world began to flock to her.Who knew a grim-faced god of death would be blocking the entrance to the Yang family's home?“You're too tall, you're too short, you're too fat, you're too skinny, you're too dark, you're too pale, you're uneducated, you're deceitful and sly... All eliminated!”In a moment, the entrance was empty, and Yang Mengchen was instantly furious, “Prince, you've driven everyone away. How am I supposed to choose a husband now?”“I would like to see who dares to marry you. I wouldn't mind sending him to the Underworld as a groom!”Yang Mengchen...A certain Prince counted his merits on his fingers: “I have power, prestige, and substance, no concubines, no secret love affairs, no gallivanting— I embody the standards of a husband's three obediences and four virtues... In short, only I, this unparalleled good man, am worthy of you!”The guards: Oh wise and valiant Prince, is it really good to be so lacking in your role as a husband?

Chu Zhi crossed the parallel world and became the top streamer in China, with hundreds of thousands of comments on Weibo updates.

Because of playing big names, plagiarizing new songs, hidden marriages, and derailing, a series of small fresh meat that has become a paste.

The start of the day is broken, and fortunately [personality system] does what most stars dare not do, and you can get points and draw the blind box.

So-

“Famous singer-songwriter Chu Zhi has a hangover, seeking inspiration for new songs.”

“Being late to the show and playing big names? No! Artists work and rest differently.”

“Chu Zhi’s unrestrained and unrestrained nature has the style of Wei and Jin celebrities.”

Chu Zhi said: “People are too good at making up their minds for talented people.”

- Description from novelbuddy