Baddie Distribution System - Chapter 61: Spread Them Cheeks

On the Great Land of China, forces clashed for the sake of supremacy and Bloodline Warriors ran amok; the conflict of the strong threatened to shatter heaven and earth. A young man named Lu Li—nothing more than a humble Coffin Carrier from the Northern Desert—came along with Lu Ling, his sister. The two were regarded as puny insects and bullied, but little did people know that Lu Li had the strongest Bloodline of them all in him.

After dying in the world of One Piece, he was reincarnated once again this time as Neji Hyuga. But fate was no kinder here. With his father dead and the cursed Caged Bird Seal looming over him, for his survival he made a ruthless decision....

Alternate Title: Kumo Desu Ga, Nani Ka? - Game SystemElliot? Yeah, he got isekai'd. Bam! Straight into the world of “So I'm a Spider, So What?”. And guess what? He wasn't some puny human or, well, a spider. Nope, he lucked out and got reborn as a freakin' Earth Dragon!But wait, it gets better. Ding! He awakened the 'XX Worlds Game System'. You know what that means? Skills! Skills from all sorts of crazy games!And the kicker? His new neighbor in the sprawling Great Elroe Labyrinth was none other than the little spider gal herself, Kumoko!So, what happens when two totally broken characters end up living next door to each other? They team up, duh! Their genius plan? Hit all the poor monsters in the Labyrinth with a two-pronged attack! A good ol' fashioned sandwich maneuver!But Elliot had a little secret. “Heh, sorry folks,” he probably smirked to himself, “but your boy Elliot here? He's playing with cheats activated!”Skill Acquired! [True Man's Slash]!Skill Acquired! [Skull Splitter]!Skill Acquired! [Planetary Devastation]!

I found myself in a parallel universe, awakening as a male priest. Everything seemed perfect; after all, as a healer, specializing in aiding women should pose no issue, right? However, I couldn’t help but wonder about some peculiar spells in my repertoire.

Firstly, what in the world is the “Instantaneous Outbreak of Acute Gastroenteritis” spell? And don’t even get me started on the “Osteoporosis” spell. What purpose could these serve in my healing endeavors? The confusion only deepened with spells like “Blood Burn,” “Gradual Freeze,” and “Mental Chaos.” Can I still peacefully focus on healing women with such ominous abilities?

Comparing my spells to those of other professions, I couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast. Mages wield “Doomstorm” and “Ice Age,” swordsmen boast “Sword Rain: Homecoming” and “Wind-Cutter Slash,” while archers showcase “Arrow Rain: Shooting Stars” and “Storm Arrow.” Yet, my ultimate spells are disturbingly named “Cancer Cell Proliferation,” “T-Virus Infection,” and “Rabies Outbreak.”

In the midst of it all, a certain character, some crying girl, laments, “Noooo, I just took a bath, who would have thought that I would become infected!”

Meanwhile, a villain chillingly asks, “Do any of you know what it feels like to burst apart while spouting blood? No! You don’t know!”

Even a boss character confesses, “Dear family, who can understand? I just took a nap, and when I woke up, I suddenly found that I have no kidneys!”