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... agic, right? But don't worry, I coped in the most responsible way possible.

By drinking!

For nearly two decades, I wallowed in self-pity, waiting for life to throw me a bone. It never did. But you know what did? Alcohol. Sweet, burning, blissful alcohol. My one true solace. My liquid therapy. My most loyal friend.

Fast forward fifty years, and—surprise, surprise—I died.

Turns out, those little labels on liquor bottles weren't just for decoration. Apparently, when ...

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